Don’t Tell Me To Stop © October 4, 2009 by Donna L. Faber, Full Moon in Aries. This piece is done on Strathmore Bristol Vellum, 100 lb. paper, with Prismacolor markers and Pips. The original is about 10” x 13”.
A woman’s heart is an ocean of secrets. This is something I know from experience. What you see on the outside, the way she looks or moves, the way she expresses herself, her barriers, restrictions or vices, work, hobby or daily routine never adequately represents the treasures hidden away within. Too frequently, we restrict ourselves in the expression our heart’s delight. What’s more, society doesn’t provide for or accept the many ways our hearts wish to express themselves either. Our rules are stringent and unforgiving. Our hands are tied and as a result so are the rest of us.
I rail against this, and hope that the change our world is undergoing, this spiritual shift, will transform this repression. I hope that through a spiritual awakening, all women will embrace who they are and share their gifts with the world.
There is something inside of me that resents this restriction intensely, and I know that if I ever let that part of me out of the bag completely, my life would never be the same.
I fall in love frequently. Some times I fall harder than others, but when I do, it’s just as genuine as the very first time it happened to me at 16 years! Each love I experience seems perfect for the object of my desire; however, it’s not always permissible to express it. Instead, I try to the best of my ability to honor the divinity in everyone and hope that is enough.
There is a woman inside of me that refuses to be stifled when it comes to love. She flat out refuses to be repressed. Love in its truest form must be as sensitive and empathic as it is reciprocal. But this lady is a love hammer that refuses to act contrary to her truest nature. Even though I know that love shouldn’t be used as a bludgeon, this internal female doesn’t know how to do it any other way.
This is Francine, and she is one of my greatest muses. Not to be confused with inspiration, which is something on the outside that gets my attention, a muse is the internal emotion that prompts me to create. Francine is the part of me that rails against repression, and so consequently, she is the dynamic force behind so much of my art and writing. She beats the inside of my psyche with her clenched fists, she runs rampant in my dreams, whispers in my ears, and reigns over my day dreams at work, home and on the bus. In the car with my family, if I drift away unhearing, my sweetie asks, “Hello? Are you there?” It is Francine pulling me away from the here and now as she rattles the bars to the cage I’ve put her in and has me swooning in the arms of my latest obsession.
So, this piece is done to acknowledge my inner love hammer, Francine … that’s why I call it “Don’t Tell Me To Stop”.
Because she never will.
on October 9, 2090
by Donna L. Faber