Total Art Soul - for artists

I have a veg problem. Well, when I say 'veg' I'm using the term loosely. Problem being....we used to eat a lot of veg. We used to go to the supermarket or even the greengrocer (remember those?) and stock up on lovely carrots and nice firm onions and tons of potatoes, even the odd bit of broccoli, cauliflower etc - you get the gist. In fact, seeing as how we have two voracious veg eating tortoises our house was positively SWIMMING in veg - like veg soup. Then it happened. About two years ago. My husband got an allotment. Some people might think this is something to be celebrated and to be honest, for the first wee while it was fine. The person before him had left some potatoes and leeks and the odd raspberry cane and it really was okay. However, as time has gone on the produce has become less and less appetising. The carrots are scrawny little worm ridden things, the onions are usually hollow and the potatoes.......well......we won't go there. Suffice to say, he keeps them in the shed and they go soft. This would all be manageable if I didn't have to pretend it wasn't happening. Am I allowed to buy veg? No. Am I allowed to beg for veg from neighbours? No. Am I allowed to even hint very, very slightly that all is not well with the leeks? No. In the Summer I have to sneak veg into the garden or the tortoises would starve to death .  On top of that, I have to make ooing and aahing noises when bucket loads of mouldy sweetcorn make an appearance in my kitchen and look positively awestruck at the bolted cauliflower. It's all too much, the stress is taking it's toll. Tonight we are having pasta. Am I as green as I'm brassica looking?